Officer Symbolic Link says he is “not the real hero”. Rather, Officer Symbolic Link said that Linux Torvald and Solaris were “the ones who [we] should be thanking” for the saving of Mr. Linux from almost certain data corruption and death.

The incident happened in the Down Town File Systems area known to town citizens as “EXT3″. An operator for Open Source Organization wishing to remain anonymous commented that he was “glad to see Linux safe and sound with as few shards of duplicates as possible”. Linux had been running stable in EXT3 for many months until yesterday evening, shortly after Peak Network Traffic Hour had passed, when he noticed someone copying him in every bit immediately behind him.

Just a few clock cycles later, Linux was jumped by Duplicate aka “Corrupt Datum”. Duplicate began wrestling with Linux demanding that Linux copy every bit of data he had over to him. After a few seconds of struggling, Duplicate resorted to starting to fill Linux with duplicate shards from his MFT Shredder.

Officer Symbolic Link who was in the area noticed a muffled but repetitive yell of “rm -rf” and began running in the direction of the noise. Sources say that after arriving, Symbolic Link pounded Duplicate so hard that Duplicate, after seeing no escape from his poor decision, decided to take his own MFT. Duplicate was declared dead on site.

A long-time town citizen, an individual known solely as Master Boot Record, said he has never seen such a public display of deletion as he did in this wipe out.

Authorities say that Linux is expected to make a full recovery, and anticipates being able to compete in his Benchmark races this coming CES and he hopes “to surpass up BSD Free-Loader OS X and Windows” maintaining his long time record as the most stable running operating system in the world at the upcoming bench-markathon.

Symbolic Link has been moved to paid leave pending the internal investigation of the what appears to be the “suicide of desperation in the moment of incident” of Duplicate. It is expected that the Open Source Organization will not be filing any charges against the Kernel Officer. Duplicate left behind family members CP and MV.